


More Than Meets the Eye

by SoldierBorn87



Category: 28 Days (2000), Dollhouse, Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Loss of Identity, Memory Loss, References to Addiction, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1863888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoldierBorn87/pseuds/SoldierBorn87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerhardt has an addiction problem, Adelle needs a new Doll, and Dutch really doesn't want to fight giant robots bent on global domination.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic exists because I finally made myself watch _Transformers: Dark of the Moon_ and the only thing that made it even remotely worth watching was Dutch, who simultaneously reminded me of Alpha and Gerhardt.
> 
> As per usual, I'd like to thank Ruby for being my beta as well as my constant support. All the blame for the cheesy title rests on her and the-rocket-scientist-who-lives-downstairs.

All Gerhardt wanted was to be free of his addiction.

Three separate times he’d gone to rehab and three separate times it had failed him. Or maybe, he’d failed it? He wasn’t sure anymore. The first time his parents had sent him, the second time it had been the courts, and the last time it had been Gwen. God, he was so ashamed of how he’d used and abused Gwen’s friendship.

But none of it helped. None of it worked.

He was garbage. 

Useless, pathetic scum. 

The worst of humanity.

Gerhardt hated himself. He hated himself so much he couldn’t even face his own reflection in the mirror.

By the time Adelle found him, he’d hit rock bottom so hard he was convinced that taking his own life was the only option left to him, the only way to make the pain finally stop. Adelle showed him it wasn’t.

And maybe, maybe she shouldn’t have.

+++

It seemed like the perfect solution. Take a few years off from his awful wreck of a life; come back with no more pain and no more addiction issues. Hell, Adelle even promised him that he wouldn’t remember any of the fucked up shit he’d done to satisfy his cravings. It was incredible. Almost unbelievable.

And the money he’d make wouldn’t be half bad either. 

It’s not like Gerhardt – or anyone else for that matter – could have predicted he would glitch so badly. After all, before him, it was unprecedented.

Later, though, when his voice was lost amidst the chaos that was Alpha, he’d think _of course, of course I’m too fucked up, too broken, for even a magic cure to save me_.

+++

It took years.

Slowly, but surely, the blank slate that was Alpha became a conglomeration of broken whispers and raging emotions, a hurricane that loved and hated not with equal measure, but which thought they were the same sentiment.

Alpha was the manifestation of all Gerhardt’s deepest fears. He embodied the monster that Gerhardt had always known lived beneath his skin.

It was almost freeing to let people behold his true self. Almost.


	2. Chapter 2

Dutch doesn’t really remember Alpha. 

He remembers the idea of him, how he came to be and the things he did, but he doesn’t actually remember being him or understand what drove him.

Dutch figures it doesn’t matter though. Because surely, if it mattered who he had been or why he would care, wouldn’t he? He would recognize the loss and mourn its passing.

Dutch doesn’t remember Gerhardt at all.

+++

Dutch meets former intelligence operative Seymour Simmons on a Tuesday morning.

He’s been wandering aimlessly for a while now. Travelling. Canada. Europe. Russia. New Zealand. Everywhere and nowhere. Living off Alpha’s foreign bank accounts means Dutch can afford to do whatever he wants, even if he’s not really sure what he wants. 

Anyways, he’s enjoying a cappuccino outside a small café in a town whose name he hasn’t bothered to learn when he hears a commotion. It’s quiet. No one seems to notice the noise but him. And normally he would ignore it too, but there’s something about it, something electronic that makes his skin crawl.

So Dutch abandons his drink and heads down the street to the ally where the noise seems to be coming from. He’s not at all expecting what he finds.

There’s a man with dark curly hair fighting some sort of high tech miniature robot with a bad attitude. The man is bleeding and the robot is laughing and… Dutch blacks out.

When he comes to his heart is racing, the robot’s in pieces, and he has a gun pointed at the man, who seems to be trying to talk Dutch down in every language he knows.

“Sorry,” Dutch says, dropping the gun and stepping back. He’s a little horrified. He doesn’t even know where the gun came from, let alone how it ended up in his hand. This kind of shit is supposed to be over. He’s not Alpha anymore.

The man sighs and snatches up the gun, stowing it in a holster beneath his jacket. “It’s fine,” he says. “At least you took out the decepticon first.”

“Decepticon?”

+++

Seymour is addicted to secrets in the same way some people are addicted to drugs and alcohol. It’s what made him an asset to the United States government, but it’s also what destroyed much of his sanity.

Dutch doesn’t know why it hurts him so much to see this or why he seems to recognize the symptoms of addiction so acutely, all he knows is that he wants to help. He needs to. So he stays with Seymour. He becomes the man’s assistant (and occasional bodyguard), keeping his life organized and his appointments on track and his addiction in check.

For the most part anyway.

Dutch knows deep down that addiction can never be beaten, but he thinks maybe, maybe it can be managed?

Seymour seems to appreciate his efforts at least.

+++

The whole autobots decepticons destruction of Chicago shitstorm is so much stress that Dutch almost walks away from Seymour at least five times. Fighting giant robots bent on global domination was never in his job description no matter how many times Seymour reminds him of how they met.

Somehow they make it out alive and the world continues to spin on.

For a little while anyway.

Then the phones ring.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Comments are always welcome.
> 
> If you are curious, this is my [tumblr](http://soldier-born87.tumblr.com/).


End file.
